but i won't say that.
while i am in a starbucks on bloor, and there is indeed a tea beside me (which i am quite enjoying) and the traffic is indeed going by, i am not connected to the internet. because when i tried to connect to the rogers hotspot, it didn't work at all, and when i connected to the bell one, they said i had to pay for it. and i say balls to that, sir.
i should have gone to the second cup. but that's okay. i wanted to be closer to home anyway. which i now am.
in other news, i just got back from the library. once i get over my strange nervousness and self-consciousness of looking for books when i don't know how, i am quite in love with libraries. i'm in love with them anyway. i love just sitting in the middle of row upon row of book spine, looking at the shelves and pulling from them random books to glance through, to be overcome with the old smell of book. i love books and i need to get off my ass and start making them.
i got life of pi, cuz i started reading it once in a grocery store while awaiting film to develop. and i wanted other books but they weren't in yet. i also got two books about the history behind toronto and its neighbourhoods and i'm quite excited to flip through those, as well.
there's a guy over there, sitting against the far wall with a young girl and they're talking about the guy's portfolio. that's something i need to do. put together a portfolio of my best work, and start doing something with it.
maybe i'll just go home now and work on my scrapbooks. but even that feels to folky and crafty to be proper art. bah.
i need to start taking my camera with me everywhere i go. cuz even right now i see perfect composition of line and space and light and colour. the movement of bloor street, of cars and trucks driving by and people wandering aimlessly or rushing down the street to get home for dinner. a man on a bicycle, and then a girl. the lights of all the streetlamps and the headlights and taillights and payphones and stores and signs. in front of me a blading man plays with beads in his hand as he deeply drinks his coffee and reads the paper. in the window before me i see reflections of the shop behind, a slight bustle and business with foam and steam and coffee beans. the chit-chat of the baristas, the interview going on, the scratch of a pen on paper and the discussion going on behind me in chinese that i can't understand; all in time with the clacking of my keys.
well, i guess the sounds wouldn't show up on film. but having my camera (and not being shy or self-conscious of taking pictures in public) you'd get the impression of the noise and sounds of a starbucks on bloor. you'd just know it, your brain would fill it in.
i love this city. i really do. i was thinking of this just now while walking here from college street, walking up the little residential one-ways of robert street. i love looking into the big old houses, looking into living rooms and kitchens, looking at shelves of books and plants and rich, wooden coffee tables. i like seeing which houses have basement apartments, their stairs almost hidden in front of the porch.
i've also been thinking a lot lately of interior decorating. imagining our housey apartment of this coming summer. a sudden flurry of images came to me the other day while walking home, images of how exactly i want to decorate our room. and i told todd and he stood slack-jawed and told me he'd imagined the exact same room a few years ago. *grin* i love the criss-cross roads of destiny and decision, and i especially love the palace i've already landed myself in. it's great. this thing called life.
i like writing. even if i'm not making any sense. i like the actual physicality of typing on a keyboard and watching the words appear on the screen.
so, the books i wanted to get are as follows:
-a million little pieces - james frey
-the alchemist - some guy... paulo? something like that
uhhhhhhh there were more. in any case, the point of that is for me to remember, and also that i need to read more. i've been out of school for months now and though at first a sufficient excuse of settling down was good enough, it's just sub-par now. i have no reason why i haven't been creating. none at all. and so i must start. i still have christmas presents i haven't even started yet. bleh. i'm pathetic.
i need to start creating and looking at created things. reading, going to art galleries, even flipping through art mags. mostly i need to create, though.
i want to buy a silkscreening kit. a small one. and also a little printing press, cuz i saw them in curry's for $300. but that won't be for a very long time cuz i still don't know how to save, and won't allow myself to buy anything for myself until i've done so, even a little bit. i was supposed to do that with this last paycheque, and didn't. though in my defence it was a lot smaller than i thought it was going to be. but still.
i like making breakfast for todd. today it was the same as when i always do, but it's still espeically delicious (toast, scrammy eggs with cheese, and home-cut homefries). it makes me excited still about moving into our place this summer. i can't wait to have a kitchen that is mine to begin with. and i really can't wait to decorate. to have a hand at decorating every room. instead of moving into a space already done and only having our tiny little room to play with.
okay. i think that's extremely long for an eljay post. and so i will finish this tea and head back up the street to the little hovel of 933.
have a wonderful nite, everyone.
love and hugs,
~jessica's typing face.